The Fearsome Fisher cat.

The fisher, or otherwise known as a fisher cat – although it is no cat – is not given its proper due by Wikipedia.

The fisher is more monster than mortal animal made of flesh and blood. The fisher moves among us almost unseen, unheard, un-noticed with the stealth of a ninja, the ferociousness of a wolverine, and the ‘doesn’t-give-a-shit’ attitude of the honey badger!

I recently learned of the fisher from some local farmers. The awe and reverence for this animal, this monster, this myth was clear from the voices hushed in fear. There was always this uneasy tension hanging in the air when the farmers discuss the animal, as if it might actually be listening. “Can hear ya comin’ from three miles,’ explained one old-timer.

“Shot one cold through the eyes once,” described another, “but the damnded thing still kept coming at me. Took three of us and a home-made flamethrower to finally finish the little bastard off.”

That’s no animal. That’s the devil himself.

Can the fisher run fast? Uh huh.

Can the fisher swim? Of course.

Can it fly? You betcha. (Well, it can at least jump great distances all the while moving its arms up and down in a flying motion. You could call that flying.)

One unconfirmed report had a fisher stalk a man for six days, all the time learning his routine. When he attacked, he went straight for the face ripping it clean off the poor man’s head. If that weren’t enough, the fisher then put on the stolen face and took over his life. Later police reports had the wife explain that she began suspecting something wasn’t quite right when she enjoyed an unusually tender night of love-making, unlike anything in years.

You see, not only is the fisher practically indestructible, a ferocious killer and extremely wealthy (they are renowned entrepreneurs and meticulous savers), they are passionate lovers.

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