And as if the squirrel gods had heard me yesterday and delivered their terrible wrath upon me, so it was that i woke up face-to-face with a squirrel this morning.
Oh the humanity!
Oh, to be awoken by the sound of those little teeth chewing on what i can only assume was some sort of graham cracker – and god knows where that came from. Those beady little eyes staring uncomfortably into my own, boring deep into my soul; all the time asking “Why? Why would you diss me like that in front of so many people? On the internet no less?! Where all disses live on forever, in infamy?!”
Maybe i hurt his feelings. Or maybe not. Maybe squirrels can’t read or the cable companies won’t give them cable anymore after months of non-payment. Who knows.
All i know is that there is a squirrel with access to the house, living in the roof somewhere, stealing graham crackers from somewhere.
The horror. The horror.