There exists in this messed-up world of ours a division within each rural police detachment across this country of ours, known simply as the Chicken Police. No kidding.
Known locally – and each county is different – as the Cuckoo Birds, the Col. Saunders Brigade, and Cluckers here in Prince Edward County, these dedicated professionals prowl the highways and back roads of the country counting the chickens on each farm they pass. Seriously.
You see – and this part is actually true, I swear – there are, dictated by the government, actual rules, laws even – and not just those benign “rules on the book but we’ll look the other way” kinds of laws…you know, the good ones but laws that are strictly enforced – about how many chickens you’re allowed to have on your farm. Because of the ‘quota system’ here in Ontario, farmers who have too many chickens can be subjected to police search and seizures, legal action, and even beak clipping, which, if you don’t in fact have a beak, can be rather uncomfortable. One poor fellow had the SWAT team show up at his house in the middle of the night, kick down his front door and search his house. An armed policeman broke down the door to his children’s room…I guess he thought there might be some more chickens hiding under his kids’ beds!